kai

My intramural softball team went undefeated this year in the regular season games, 4-0. I had high expectations, even though I knew playoffs would be much harder to compete. Turned out we got murdered in our playoff game, 11-0, and just like that, our season was over.
I remember feeling very sad and disappointed because we couldn't even put up much of a fight... I hadn't been this depressed in a while.

Then I remembered...
Thank God I'm a Christian and that I know the hope of Jesus Christ. My faith is so much more important than a silly game of softball. That's when I got over the loss and continued my life. Phew

04/30/10
1:45 AM

Today, at Jaeson Ma;s 1040 documentary screening, I felt God like not other.
I felt His love, pain, plan, mission, spirit, everything. God's fire is burning in me right now, and His glory cannot be covered.

After Jaeson Ma, a friend of mine from Crossroads (Korean fellowship) Ann Choi asked if she could speak to me; she felt the Holy Spirit telling her to pray over me. As Ann began praying, high pitch sounds started coming out of her mouth (not sure if it was tongues); I had no clue what she was praying about, so I just continued praying in my own head for God's spirit to fill me. After she had ended, she started describing the images she saw in her head.
Ann saw me in a classroom with many many children, and I began teaching to all of them. Suddenly, the word "China" began flashing in her head over and over again.
Ann had the gift of prophecy, but not the gift of interpretation, so she didn't know what those images meant, but I knew. Everything she had just described was exactly what God has been telling and showing me these past few months: To use teaching as my way into missions in possibly China. Freaky..

Later on, I got a chance to talk to Jaeson Ma himself, and I began explaining to him what God has been teaching/showing/revealing to me these past few months.
When I had finished speaking, Jaeson started speaking about what he had saw in his head while I was speaking.
First thing he said, he saw a PhD in my future, whether it's in the form of a degree in school, or just the knowledge of someone with a PhD. He explained that teaching is definitely my way into full time ministry. "You are a great teacher" said Jaeson, and he saw me speaking and teaching in front of many high intellectual scholars in CHINA. But in order to get there, I needed to be equipped. Jaeson then referred me to Daniel in the Bible, acknowledging that Daniel had more wisdom than anyone in the land, and at the same time more spiritual wisdom than anyone else. Jaeson said that whatever I end up teaching, I need to be the very best at it.
Then he saw a supernatural gift in me, the power of physical healing. I have never heard of anyone mention that to me, so I was a little confused. But Jaeson said that he saw that and encouraged me to pray and explore this area of holy healing. He suggested me to read some books by John G. Lake and Smith Wigglesworth.

What a night. I am confused and skeptic about a lot of the stuff Jaeson said, but over these past few years, the Lord has soften my heart on the topic of the Holy Spirit and showed me personally how powerful it can be
I will hold on to these words, keep it close to my heart, and simply continue to allow God to work His glory through me; perhaps things will me sense later.
I am yours God, fire come down.