kai
Monday, May 03, 2010
My intramural softball team went undefeated this year in the regular season games, 4-0. I had high expectations, even though I knew playoffs would be much harder to compete. Turned out we got murdered in our playoff game, 11-0, and just like that, our season was over.
I remember feeling very sad and disappointed because we couldn't even put up much of a fight... I hadn't been this depressed in a while.
Then I remembered...
Thank God I'm a Christian and that I know the hope of Jesus Christ. My faith is so much more important than a silly game of softball. That's when I got over the loss and continued my life. Phew
I remember feeling very sad and disappointed because we couldn't even put up much of a fight... I hadn't been this depressed in a while.
Then I remembered...
Thank God I'm a Christian and that I know the hope of Jesus Christ. My faith is so much more important than a silly game of softball. That's when I got over the loss and continued my life. Phew
Sunday, May 02, 2010
04/30/10
1:45 AM
Today, at Jaeson Ma;s 1040 documentary screening, I felt God like not other.
I felt His love, pain, plan, mission, spirit, everything. God's fire is burning in me right now, and His glory cannot be covered.
After Jaeson Ma, a friend of mine from Crossroads (Korean fellowship) Ann Choi asked if she could speak to me; she felt the Holy Spirit telling her to pray over me. As Ann began praying, high pitch sounds started coming out of her mouth (not sure if it was tongues); I had no clue what she was praying about, so I just continued praying in my own head for God's spirit to fill me. After she had ended, she started describing the images she saw in her head.
Ann saw me in a classroom with many many children, and I began teaching to all of them. Suddenly, the word "China" began flashing in her head over and over again.
Ann had the gift of prophecy, but not the gift of interpretation, so she didn't know what those images meant, but I knew. Everything she had just described was exactly what God has been telling and showing me these past few months: To use teaching as my way into missions in possibly China. Freaky..
Later on, I got a chance to talk to Jaeson Ma himself, and I began explaining to him what God has been teaching/showing/revealing to me these past few months.
When I had finished speaking, Jaeson started speaking about what he had saw in his head while I was speaking.
First thing he said, he saw a PhD in my future, whether it's in the form of a degree in school, or just the knowledge of someone with a PhD. He explained that teaching is definitely my way into full time ministry. "You are a great teacher" said Jaeson, and he saw me speaking and teaching in front of many high intellectual scholars in CHINA. But in order to get there, I needed to be equipped. Jaeson then referred me to Daniel in the Bible, acknowledging that Daniel had more wisdom than anyone in the land, and at the same time more spiritual wisdom than anyone else. Jaeson said that whatever I end up teaching, I need to be the very best at it.
Then he saw a supernatural gift in me, the power of physical healing. I have never heard of anyone mention that to me, so I was a little confused. But Jaeson said that he saw that and encouraged me to pray and explore this area of holy healing. He suggested me to read some books by John G. Lake and Smith Wigglesworth.
What a night. I am confused and skeptic about a lot of the stuff Jaeson said, but over these past few years, the Lord has soften my heart on the topic of the Holy Spirit and showed me personally how powerful it can be
I will hold on to these words, keep it close to my heart, and simply continue to allow God to work His glory through me; perhaps things will me sense later.
I am yours God, fire come down.
1:45 AM
Today, at Jaeson Ma;s 1040 documentary screening, I felt God like not other.
I felt His love, pain, plan, mission, spirit, everything. God's fire is burning in me right now, and His glory cannot be covered.
After Jaeson Ma, a friend of mine from Crossroads (Korean fellowship) Ann Choi asked if she could speak to me; she felt the Holy Spirit telling her to pray over me. As Ann began praying, high pitch sounds started coming out of her mouth (not sure if it was tongues); I had no clue what she was praying about, so I just continued praying in my own head for God's spirit to fill me. After she had ended, she started describing the images she saw in her head.
Ann saw me in a classroom with many many children, and I began teaching to all of them. Suddenly, the word "China" began flashing in her head over and over again.
Ann had the gift of prophecy, but not the gift of interpretation, so she didn't know what those images meant, but I knew. Everything she had just described was exactly what God has been telling and showing me these past few months: To use teaching as my way into missions in possibly China. Freaky..
Later on, I got a chance to talk to Jaeson Ma himself, and I began explaining to him what God has been teaching/showing/revealing to me these past few months.
When I had finished speaking, Jaeson started speaking about what he had saw in his head while I was speaking.
First thing he said, he saw a PhD in my future, whether it's in the form of a degree in school, or just the knowledge of someone with a PhD. He explained that teaching is definitely my way into full time ministry. "You are a great teacher" said Jaeson, and he saw me speaking and teaching in front of many high intellectual scholars in CHINA. But in order to get there, I needed to be equipped. Jaeson then referred me to Daniel in the Bible, acknowledging that Daniel had more wisdom than anyone in the land, and at the same time more spiritual wisdom than anyone else. Jaeson said that whatever I end up teaching, I need to be the very best at it.
Then he saw a supernatural gift in me, the power of physical healing. I have never heard of anyone mention that to me, so I was a little confused. But Jaeson said that he saw that and encouraged me to pray and explore this area of holy healing. He suggested me to read some books by John G. Lake and Smith Wigglesworth.
What a night. I am confused and skeptic about a lot of the stuff Jaeson said, but over these past few years, the Lord has soften my heart on the topic of the Holy Spirit and showed me personally how powerful it can be
I will hold on to these words, keep it close to my heart, and simply continue to allow God to work His glory through me; perhaps things will me sense later.
I am yours God, fire come down.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Three years ago, I found my identity in Christ. Unfortunately, it's seems like I have misplaced it somewhere since these past few weeks. Help me find it?
on a side note...
my family is spread out everywhere. One in China, one in Illinois, one in Houston, and I'm in Austin. Must get lonely sometimes. I miss them lots.
I also really having my car around :(
on a side note...
my family is spread out everywhere. One in China, one in Illinois, one in Houston, and I'm in Austin. Must get lonely sometimes. I miss them lots.
I also really having my car around :(
Saturday, May 02, 2009
I woke up this morning at around 5:30 am after getting about 4 hours of sleep; I made up my mind a few days ago that I wanted to see the sunrise for the first time in my life. It was still pitch black outside, so I get in my car and started driving to Jiwan's "secret spot." I arrived there around 6 and immediately took my camera out to capture this magical moment. There was a great view to see the lights of San Antonio at night, and the gentle wind blowing through my hair was truly refreshing. I wait patiently for the sun to rise, I wait and wait... and wait, only to realize that the sky was getting brighter, but the sun was no where to be found. Turned out to be a really cloudy day. I left the place feeling refreshed, but also somewhat disappointed that I didn't fulfill my craving for good pictures; I've come to realize that taking a good picture really makes me happy.
I decided to head toward La Cantera to maybe find something to shoot. As I'm driving, I see a huge parking garage up ahead of the road, and had the great idea of driving up there to see the view. Turns out this garage I had drove up to was the parking garage for some big company, and was for employees only... whatever, I parked my car in guest parking and went up. The view up there was pretty amazing. I was able to see the entire La Cantera Mall, Fiesta Texas, and also UTSA. I took a few shots of the view in this cloudy weather, then got caught by a cop, who told me pictures were illegal up here... okay.
I got back to UTSA at around 9 am, parked my car, and realized that I was actually up early enough to grab some breakfast at the Roadrunner Cafe; I have yet to eat breakfast at the cafe, so I was pretty excited. I go to the cafe only to find the doors LOCKED. "The Roadrunner Cafe operates from 7am-8pm from Monday-Friday, 10am-7pm Saturday-Sunday." Today was Saturday. I left and took a short nap.
So pretty much, this entire morning was epic fail. Story of my life.
If you were wondering why I woke up so early just to see the sunrise randomly, good job!
Today, May 2nd 2009, is the 10th year anniversary of when my family and I came to America!
HAHAHA don't judge me.
I got up early this morning and took time to reflect these past 10 years of my life, and to give God the glory he deserved a long time ago.
When my family and I moved to America, I was still a baby-Christian, having not yet discover this faith for myself and going to church for all the wrong reasons. God presented me with many obstacles to face in the first 2-3 years, such as the frustrating language barrier, feeling a sense of belonging amongst my peers, and feeling like a complete alien in this new world. I didn't really knew who God was yet, but He knew me and knew exactly what he had in store for me.
Once I entered middle school, I found friends :) (I had a friend back in colony meadows elementary, Mike- a white guy, my first friend was a white guy, but I had to transfer to got Colony Bend Elementary) Joining band led me to discover the world of music, and now I thank God for blessing me with different talents in music; it's one of the things I'm most thankful for. Joining band also led me to meeting Sean, Lawrence, Michael, and Darren- also known as, Team Asian. Looking back now, we were so childish and idiotic, but I had one of the best times of my life during Team Asian. Even though high school separated us and we're not as close anymore, I still thank God for bringing you guys into my life.
In middle school, I encountered a brand new type of obstacle called girls. After a while, I started to notice that girls were really cute, and secretly tried to spend extra time with this interesting new breed. I don't know how, but I guess God gave me the confidence to ask a white girl out, and I had never been more scared during the process. We didn't last too long, but it was a good learning experience. Girls have begun to invade my life.
In 8th grade, I went on a short term missions trip to Orange, TX. I only went because my mom forced me, but this probably turned out to the best decision I have ever made. God revealed his love to me through the unexpected and the impossible, and I committed to live a life alongside with Christ.
Enter High School. I went to Clements High School for a year and a half and had the time of my life. I met my best friend, Marco, and other friends whom I can truly rely on, and I praised God for my great life. I was comfortable, I was satisfied, I was happy, and God decides to change everything.
My parents decided to sell the house and buy a smaller one because we were extremely tight with money. So with this new home comes a new school district, and I got transferred to Dulles High School, home of the Vikings. I knew a few people from church, but I was so scared. I rejected the idea of having to start over again, and I once again went back to the life I had back in elementary: a pointless life, or so I thought. God once again challenged me to find new friends and to fit in, and I was pretty epic fail the first year. I turned into a shy little Asian boy who didn't give a care for anyone or anything, especially God. But during junior and senior year, God revealed to me my identity, the type of person I was, my strengths and weaknesses, and began to use me. I believe God's plan that moved me to Dulles was a training field for the things he has in store for me, and being back at Clements living a comfortable life was not going to help me learn anything.
In 2005, I participated in a missions trip to Matamoros, Mexico on my own will, and was once again renewed. I am Chinese/Taiwanese, not Hispanic. I speak mandarin, not Spanish. I did not know how I was going to be able to communicate with the people of Matamoros, but God said that "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength" Philippians 4:13. I relied on Him, prayed to Him, and God's love never fails. I found happiness and love toward strangers, and was able to lead a guy to Christ through God's power. I forgot his name, but I pray for him right now and hope that he is living a life honoring God.
Before the summer of my senior year, FBCC hosted its annual Camp Challenge summer camp, and through the speaker and the counselors, God led me to start a prayer group amongst my friends from church. So all the way from August 2008 to August 2009, us group of guys met up once every week, and kept each other accountable. I am so thankful for you guys for following through with this commitment and am so proud of how each of us have grown and matured. I can't wait to see you all this summer!
I successfully graduated high school while almost missing my own graduation because of traffic, and was on my way to University of Texas at San Antonio! When I got rejected by UT Austin and was capped, I was SHOCKED, not. Haha, I didn't have the best grades in high school. But still, there was nobody at UTSA, I knew nothing about it, and I seriously considered going to UH to save money. God knew though, God had already planned for me to go there because of the things and people he had in store for me.
Entering UTSA was hard at first. I had some close friends with me, but college was nothing like high school, I didn't have my mom to feed me delicious Chinese food. I once again started living that "pointless life" back in elementary and part of high school, and thought that this was going to be a long, gruesome year. But soon, God started bringing new people into my life, and used a few of us to liftoff the Epic Movement ministry on campus. We began the year with about 8 consistent members every week, and God amplified that number into 30 students by the end of the year; it was all God. I have learned a lot about myself during my freshmen year, such as my spiritual gifts and how to use them. God has truly blessed me with the friends I've made this year, and each one of them has affected in multiple ways. I am so thankful for every single of of you guys, and girls, and I hope that your love for Christ will never fade. My prayer for everyone is for us to digest everything that we've learned this year, and use it for the kingdom of God. We are more than just a group of friends, we are a body of Christ. Don't waste the gifts God has blessed you with. "God comforts us not to make us comfortable but to make us comforters"- John Henry Jowett. I love you guys, remember to always be in prayer for one another.
As I was reflecting on all these this morning, this song came to my mind:
I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God He was, my God He is
My God is always gonna be
- My Savior My God, Aaron Shust
Father God, I am not capable of understanding everything that has happened in the past 10 years. you have my life planned and have the will to control my life. The only thing that I do understand is this: You loves me, You live in my life, You are always there for me, You are my Savior, and my God. I am blessed with everything you have given me, whether it be good or bad in my eyes, it is all for a greater purpose and all for your glory. I love you God. In your Son's name I pray, Amen.
I decided to head toward La Cantera to maybe find something to shoot. As I'm driving, I see a huge parking garage up ahead of the road, and had the great idea of driving up there to see the view. Turns out this garage I had drove up to was the parking garage for some big company, and was for employees only... whatever, I parked my car in guest parking and went up. The view up there was pretty amazing. I was able to see the entire La Cantera Mall, Fiesta Texas, and also UTSA. I took a few shots of the view in this cloudy weather, then got caught by a cop, who told me pictures were illegal up here... okay.
I got back to UTSA at around 9 am, parked my car, and realized that I was actually up early enough to grab some breakfast at the Roadrunner Cafe; I have yet to eat breakfast at the cafe, so I was pretty excited. I go to the cafe only to find the doors LOCKED. "The Roadrunner Cafe operates from 7am-8pm from Monday-Friday, 10am-7pm Saturday-Sunday." Today was Saturday. I left and took a short nap.
So pretty much, this entire morning was epic fail. Story of my life.
If you were wondering why I woke up so early just to see the sunrise randomly, good job!
Today, May 2nd 2009, is the 10th year anniversary of when my family and I came to America!
HAHAHA don't judge me.
I got up early this morning and took time to reflect these past 10 years of my life, and to give God the glory he deserved a long time ago.
When my family and I moved to America, I was still a baby-Christian, having not yet discover this faith for myself and going to church for all the wrong reasons. God presented me with many obstacles to face in the first 2-3 years, such as the frustrating language barrier, feeling a sense of belonging amongst my peers, and feeling like a complete alien in this new world. I didn't really knew who God was yet, but He knew me and knew exactly what he had in store for me.
Once I entered middle school, I found friends :) (I had a friend back in colony meadows elementary, Mike- a white guy, my first friend was a white guy, but I had to transfer to got Colony Bend Elementary) Joining band led me to discover the world of music, and now I thank God for blessing me with different talents in music; it's one of the things I'm most thankful for. Joining band also led me to meeting Sean, Lawrence, Michael, and Darren- also known as, Team Asian. Looking back now, we were so childish and idiotic, but I had one of the best times of my life during Team Asian. Even though high school separated us and we're not as close anymore, I still thank God for bringing you guys into my life.
In middle school, I encountered a brand new type of obstacle called girls. After a while, I started to notice that girls were really cute, and secretly tried to spend extra time with this interesting new breed. I don't know how, but I guess God gave me the confidence to ask a white girl out, and I had never been more scared during the process. We didn't last too long, but it was a good learning experience. Girls have begun to invade my life.
In 8th grade, I went on a short term missions trip to Orange, TX. I only went because my mom forced me, but this probably turned out to the best decision I have ever made. God revealed his love to me through the unexpected and the impossible, and I committed to live a life alongside with Christ.
Enter High School. I went to Clements High School for a year and a half and had the time of my life. I met my best friend, Marco, and other friends whom I can truly rely on, and I praised God for my great life. I was comfortable, I was satisfied, I was happy, and God decides to change everything.
My parents decided to sell the house and buy a smaller one because we were extremely tight with money. So with this new home comes a new school district, and I got transferred to Dulles High School, home of the Vikings. I knew a few people from church, but I was so scared. I rejected the idea of having to start over again, and I once again went back to the life I had back in elementary: a pointless life, or so I thought. God once again challenged me to find new friends and to fit in, and I was pretty epic fail the first year. I turned into a shy little Asian boy who didn't give a care for anyone or anything, especially God. But during junior and senior year, God revealed to me my identity, the type of person I was, my strengths and weaknesses, and began to use me. I believe God's plan that moved me to Dulles was a training field for the things he has in store for me, and being back at Clements living a comfortable life was not going to help me learn anything.
In 2005, I participated in a missions trip to Matamoros, Mexico on my own will, and was once again renewed. I am Chinese/Taiwanese, not Hispanic. I speak mandarin, not Spanish. I did not know how I was going to be able to communicate with the people of Matamoros, but God said that "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength" Philippians 4:13. I relied on Him, prayed to Him, and God's love never fails. I found happiness and love toward strangers, and was able to lead a guy to Christ through God's power. I forgot his name, but I pray for him right now and hope that he is living a life honoring God.
Before the summer of my senior year, FBCC hosted its annual Camp Challenge summer camp, and through the speaker and the counselors, God led me to start a prayer group amongst my friends from church. So all the way from August 2008 to August 2009, us group of guys met up once every week, and kept each other accountable. I am so thankful for you guys for following through with this commitment and am so proud of how each of us have grown and matured. I can't wait to see you all this summer!
I successfully graduated high school while almost missing my own graduation because of traffic, and was on my way to University of Texas at San Antonio! When I got rejected by UT Austin and was capped, I was SHOCKED, not. Haha, I didn't have the best grades in high school. But still, there was nobody at UTSA, I knew nothing about it, and I seriously considered going to UH to save money. God knew though, God had already planned for me to go there because of the things and people he had in store for me.
Entering UTSA was hard at first. I had some close friends with me, but college was nothing like high school, I didn't have my mom to feed me delicious Chinese food. I once again started living that "pointless life" back in elementary and part of high school, and thought that this was going to be a long, gruesome year. But soon, God started bringing new people into my life, and used a few of us to liftoff the Epic Movement ministry on campus. We began the year with about 8 consistent members every week, and God amplified that number into 30 students by the end of the year; it was all God. I have learned a lot about myself during my freshmen year, such as my spiritual gifts and how to use them. God has truly blessed me with the friends I've made this year, and each one of them has affected in multiple ways. I am so thankful for every single of of you guys, and girls, and I hope that your love for Christ will never fade. My prayer for everyone is for us to digest everything that we've learned this year, and use it for the kingdom of God. We are more than just a group of friends, we are a body of Christ. Don't waste the gifts God has blessed you with. "God comforts us not to make us comfortable but to make us comforters"- John Henry Jowett. I love you guys, remember to always be in prayer for one another.
As I was reflecting on all these this morning, this song came to my mind:
I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God He was, my God He is
My God is always gonna be
- My Savior My God, Aaron Shust
Father God, I am not capable of understanding everything that has happened in the past 10 years. you have my life planned and have the will to control my life. The only thing that I do understand is this: You loves me, You live in my life, You are always there for me, You are my Savior, and my God. I am blessed with everything you have given me, whether it be good or bad in my eyes, it is all for a greater purpose and all for your glory. I love you God. In your Son's name I pray, Amen.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
this one's for you Katherine
Today was my last day of class before final exams, the end of my freshmen year; it's been unbelievable.
here's something you stalker readers can pray for me about:
It's been really hard lately for me to "love" people. Not the kind of love you give to your girl/boy friend, but the kind of love you're expected to show to your neighbors and friends. I've always been a extremely care-free guy, but I was always able to at least show some kind of love and appreciation to others. I guess a lot of old scars that hurt me are beginning to come up. Yeah, I "love" and appreciate my friends, but it's just been really hard for me to show it; I don't even know why I used that quotation for "love"... oops I did it again, Thanks Britney.
I might not show it, but I'm struggling right now with my spiritual faith. I don't really have a consistent accountability with anyone at UTSA right now, and it's just been really hard to realize myself what I'm doing wrong. And since I don't have a accountability buddy right now, it makes me really miss my church friends from back home. We kept each other accountable all throughout senior year and summer, and I truly love every single one of them, even the girls.
Why am I being such a baby right now... probably because I just got owned in Starcraft in about 5 minutes. Thanks guys.
On a side note, final exams are coming up, and I am going to wreck shop, whatever that means. I have never studied SO MUCH in my life. Yeah it takes a tow on my social life, but I'm proud of myself. I have never had such good studying habits before, anything is possible! I hope I didn't just jinx myself.
it is so windy outside, maybe a sign that all my troubles are getting blown away :)
May 2 is coming up... big day!
Today was my last day of class before final exams, the end of my freshmen year; it's been unbelievable.
here's something you stalker readers can pray for me about:
It's been really hard lately for me to "love" people. Not the kind of love you give to your girl/boy friend, but the kind of love you're expected to show to your neighbors and friends. I've always been a extremely care-free guy, but I was always able to at least show some kind of love and appreciation to others. I guess a lot of old scars that hurt me are beginning to come up. Yeah, I "love" and appreciate my friends, but it's just been really hard for me to show it; I don't even know why I used that quotation for "love"... oops I did it again, Thanks Britney.
I might not show it, but I'm struggling right now with my spiritual faith. I don't really have a consistent accountability with anyone at UTSA right now, and it's just been really hard to realize myself what I'm doing wrong. And since I don't have a accountability buddy right now, it makes me really miss my church friends from back home. We kept each other accountable all throughout senior year and summer, and I truly love every single one of them, even the girls.
Why am I being such a baby right now... probably because I just got owned in Starcraft in about 5 minutes. Thanks guys.
On a side note, final exams are coming up, and I am going to wreck shop, whatever that means. I have never studied SO MUCH in my life. Yeah it takes a tow on my social life, but I'm proud of myself. I have never had such good studying habits before, anything is possible! I hope I didn't just jinx myself.
it is so windy outside, maybe a sign that all my troubles are getting blown away :)
May 2 is coming up... big day!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Real Life
Epic
Hana
Prayer meetings
Small groups
Drum lessons
Accountability
and school work.
when is it just... too much?
Not only am I starting to feel like I'm "spinning multiple plates," all of this has also taken a tow in my personal spiritual walk with God, especially my quiet times.
Epic
Hana
Prayer meetings
Small groups
Drum lessons
Accountability
and school work.
when is it just... too much?
Not only am I starting to feel like I'm "spinning multiple plates," all of this has also taken a tow in my personal spiritual walk with God, especially my quiet times.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
I have always been pretty good at discerning what's right and wrong. I don't always make the right decisions, but I know it when I do something wrong, and I'm just dumb enough to do it anyway.
Recently, I have been struggling a lot with the whole concept of the fifth commandment: honoring your father and mother. My parents have always been extremely supportive of me my entire life, but since college, it's been different. What am I suppose to do when I feel like God telling me to do one thing, but my parents telling me to do the complete opposite...
It's not that my parents are telling me to do things against the Bible, but I feel like our interpretation of the Bible and Christianity is completely different.
I'm lost and confused, pray for me please.
Archives
March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 October 2009 May 2010
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]